when life goes wrong this train rolls on
2005-02-22 - 7:56 pm
I have been utterly exhausted so far this week. No energy at all. I suppose it might be because my aunt and uncle from Minneapolis were visiting this weekend so I didn't get a chance to catch up on sleep the way I usually do.
The weekend before, braveheart was visiting, and it was so wonderful. I was ridiculously busy, with schoolwork and practice for the Vagina Monologues and things, but it was still amazing to have him here and not worry about needing to be home or to get him home so my parents wouldn't worry.
Did I mention that I was part of Grinnell's production of The Vagina Monologues? Because I was, and it was great. I was so worried about it, and then the show itself was fairly low-key, just on a little stage area in the student-run coffeeshop, and I managed to memorize my monologue in a week and a half, despite being notoriously bad at memorizing things. Most of my friends came to various shows, and of course they all assured me that I was really good, but I can never really know if my friends are just being polite or not. I hate social lies, myself. If I wasn't good, I want someone to tell me so. But I digress. The measure of success is when people you don't even know who are conducting surveys in the dining hall compliment you on your performance. That happened today at lunch, and it made me happy. Yesterday someone else I didn't know commented as I was walking to class. Hooray. I think I'll do it next year, too.
I fed a squirrel today. I've been meaning to feed the squirrels for ages, but awhile ago I finally got to a grocery store and bought cashews, and then I finally remembered to put some in a bag in my coat pocket, which I've been carrying around. And then walking back to my dorm from lunch, I finally had time and an opportune squirrel.
Well, my roommate and I fed a couple of squirrels on Sunday, too, but then one bit me. The squirrel today was much nicer. And so cute! I ♥ squirrels. As long as they're not beating up chipmunks. But I don't think there are any chipmunks on campus.
I have a small solo in the next orchestra concert, which is in three weeks, and I really need to practice, but dinner was good for once and I ate a lot and I don't play well on a full stomach. I should take a walk. In the cold and dark and ice.
Perhaps it was just all the visitors, but I got very homesick Sunday night. I miss my father so much. I miss being a young child and knowing that my father always knew just what to do and how to make everything better and that I could fall asleep with my head on his chest listening to his breathing and I was utterly safe.
I feel like I ought to write something more interesting, but I'm very tired and I have homework, if not clarinet practice.