voices leaking from a sad cafe
2004-10-19 - 1:35 pm
I wrote most of this last night, and then my computer battery died because I suck and forgot the adapter thing I need to plug it in while I'm in my bedroom. So here it is now. It's about damn time braveheart gets his driver's license (November, assuming he passes) because I'm kind of tired of doing all the driving away.
Visited the high school today with my Rose. She's going back to Wooster tomorrow, which is sad because she's beautiful and I love her and definitely need to see more of her. We saw some of our old teachers, plus all of our old classmates on fall break who also decided to come back and visit. We are so lame. But it's ok. My band director turned 50 and bought himeself a motorcycle to celebrate. Crazy man. I miss him.
I saw M today while I was visiting the band. He talked to me instead of playing. And he told me "we should do something over christmas break." Erm. Maybe I'm reading too much into that. But given that he asked me out once, and I rejected him with the wimpiest nonrejection in the history of rejection, I doubt it. I want to stay friends with him. And I don't want to hurt him. How do I tell him about braveheart? If my life were a novel and I were reading it, I'd be shouting "just tell him!" at myself in my head. But as I mentioned earlier, I suck.
Do I chicken out and ask Andy to tell him for me? That seems rather pathetic. Not to mention that he wouldn't be able to explain anything. It would just be a cold "oh, the rabbit and her boyfriend..." name-dropping sort of thing. Not that I could explain better, really. So, my current plan of action: ignore it until it goes away.
I suppose...at least I know Andy hasn't told him yet...so I can trust him not to talk about these things. I used to worry about telling Andy things I wanted to keep private, because he's completely unable to refrain from talking about issues that affect him personally. Like when he made out with Ryan's (my ex-boyfriend) girlfriend. He just sort of told the whole lunch table. It's something I might have kept on the DL. Especially when the ex-girlfriend of the friend he just betrayed, still friends with said ex-boyfriend, is sitting right there.
I didn't see Ryan today. That was sad. I think the last time I saw him was at a Segue show this summer.
I ought to email him.
Great Maker, this entry makes me sound like some sort of average high school socialite, like I have this great stash of men in my life to talk about all the time. Nope. Add C to this entry and you've got every male with some connection to my entire so-called love life. Well, except for Alex from my youth group, but I did nothing but push him away (mostly literally). He doesn't count. And he's now the biggest man-slut I know. I don't want to count him.